Shitty Tennis League

The Goal

Play tennis with a different opponent each week. Get a little better. Get some cardio. Avoid spending another summer sitting in the garage talking about how you should probably exercise more.

Season Schedule

Season Start May 17

Duration 10 Weeks

Off Week Week before July 4th — use this week to make up matches and explain why your back "felt weird."

Season Goal Finish your matches and survive the summer.

How It Works

1Check the schedule to see who you're playing.

2Contact your opponent and set a date, time, and location.

3If you haven't heard from them, reach out first. Don't wait.

4Find a court roughly halfway between both players.

5Show up and attempt tennis.

6Drink some beers.

7Repeat next week against someone else.

League Rule #1: The only way this league works is if we actually play matches. The group chat does not count as exercise.

Match Policies

🎾 Court Selection

Choose a court that's convenient for both players. Always identify a nearby backup court in case your first choice is packed.

📅 Make-Up Matches

If a match can't be played during the scheduled week, players may complete it the following week. An extra make-up week is built into the season.

❌ Unplayed Matches

If neither player completes the match after the make-up opportunity, both players receive a loss.

➕ New Players Welcome

Know someone who enjoys mediocre tennis and light suffering? Send their contact information and we'll get them involved.

Suggested Court Locations

📍

Lac Lavon

Burnsville

📍

Century Junior High

Lakeville

📍

Kings Tennis Courts

Bloomington

📍

Courts Behind SA

Lakeville — County Road 46 & Hwy 35 Frontage Road

📍

Northview Park

Burnsville — County Road 5 & 150th Street

📍

Neil Park

Burnsville

📍

Your Favorite Court

Any court is acceptable if both players agree.